That's a Crude Way of Putting It
by juumensou
Summary: "I'm drunk. Okay. Am I wearing clothes? Yes. So far, this is a good morning." When Kusanagi Momoe is mistaken for her friend, she finds herself having a dangerous type of fall: love. ItachixOC. M for implied sex, heavy cursing, and death.


**Disclaimer: **I own nothing. Not even Weasel-kun... -sobs- O-On w-with the story...

**That's a Crude Way of Putting It**

**Chapter One – Didn't Even Try**

Lights flash, music blasts, the smell of alcohol fills the air, smoke crowding around groups of people from drugs.

Uchiha Itachi couldn't help but wonder why they just _had_ to capture a woman vital to finding the location of a jinchūriki. Matsuri, or something similar to that.

"One cup of koshu.*"

His brown eyes (he's under a henge) flicker to the girl, who's voice he heard. She glares at the bartender, slightly tipsy. Judging by the picture Leader-sama gave, she's not Matsuri. Her hazel eyes flicker to him, their gazes locking. She parts her chapped, glossy lips.

"What're you lookin' at, fuck-ass?"

This certain girl got lucky, you see. Any other member and she would be dead the minute she thought she was alone outside. She narrows her eyes at him, before turning to the cup of aged sake placed in front of her.

"You were just rejected... and you didn't even try." Hoshigaki Kisame comments, a girl on his arm. Itachi looks back at the drink in his hand, a simple glass of nigorizake*.

He looks back to the girl as Kisame leaves, examining her from the corner of his eye. She doesn't seem to notice, too busy trying to find the ryō she _swears_ she had in her wallet. She huffs every time she is forced to push her curly brown hair out of her face to see into her black wallet.

"More non-existent money, Momoe-chan?" a girl with light-brown hair asks. Itachi looks back at the picture, waiting for the fumbling brunette to get out of the way of the other.

The girl sighs and gives up, nodding. She looks to her apparent friend, giving her a very pouty, childish expression.

"Fine, I'll pay again! Just remember next time. I'm not paying again, you owe me a lot of money..." the girl to her left grumbles, fishing out a few ryō from her pocket. She sighs and places it onto the counter as Itachi looks at the picture.

It's Matsuri.

The other girl, dubbed "Momoe" now, smiles and thanks her friend. She finishes her sake and stands up, stumbling a bit. Matsuri grumbles under her breath as she helps her friend out of the club. Once they're outside, Itachi makes his move. He follows them out of the club, before releasing the henge and revealing his true appearance, jumping from a few rooftops. He'd attack when they were completely distracted.

The girls stop, Matsuri checking herself for her wallet. She groans, before turning around as Momoe asks what's wrong. Itachi then jumps down in front of the two girls, just as Momoe whirls around, albeit drunkenly. He pulls out a kunai, grabbing Momoe and holding the kunai to her neck.

"Come with me and your friend will live."

Momoe aims to kick him, but Matsuri quickly throws a kunai, forcing him to loosen his grip. She grabs her friend, and she's almost completely unharmed as they flee, save for the small scratch on her neck. She follows her friend behind a building, where Matsuri performs a henge on herself. She then continues to run, heading for the Kazekage's building. Even though Gaara was gone, in hiding, it still had much protection, and she would be able to alert the village of the Akatsuki's coming.

Itachi quickly catches up, but due to the strong henge, he can't tell which one is Matsuri. He follows for a moment, before realizing the stumbling girl is Momoe. He flings a kunai at Matsuri, and she's almost knocked down. She throws herself and her friend into an empty, dark shop. The girls whisper to each other, and Itachi shakes his head. _Horrible kunoichi..._

He enters and grabs Matsuri by her hair. He hits her neck, tossing her over his shoulder. He looks at the shivering Momoe and swiftly cuts her neck for a quick death. He leaves the shop and meets his partner outside the gates of Sunagakure no Sato.

Time to report back to Leader-sama.

**A/N:** **Horrible. I know. This is inspired by my one-shot, "One Similarity, a Thousand Differences." Yaaaaaayyyy!**

**Notes: **Koshu: a type of aged sake that can age for decades. It turns yellow and develops a honeyed flavor. Nigorizake: a cloudy sake. It's not filtered, so rice sediment is left at the bottom. According to Wikipedia (thanks, by the way).

**Up Next!**

_I can't believe I'm with the freaking Akatsuki. These pricks won't let me go! They can't even kill me because it would leave too much evidence._

_If only I hadn't have gone to the bar..._


End file.
